Hogwarts out of Whack
by EvilPoutOfDoom
Summary: Hermione is engaged to who? Harry disappears to where? Ron secret lover does what? Read and find out. There is a small amount of slash in this story, but nothing more than a little kissing. If you don’t like it, don’t read it.


**AN: This contains some slash, so if you don't like it, then don't read it. You have been warned.

* * *

**

It was near the end of Hermione's 7th year at Hogwarts. Voldemort had been defeated just a few months ago, so without the threat of him and his Death Eaters, Severus Snape had become a whole new person. He now joined in with Dumbledore and Flitwick as they read through the cartoon section of the Daily Prophet and laughed twice as loud.

He was also fair in class, and often gave points to Gryffindor just for the right answer to a question. He could even be seen playing chess with students from time to time. None of these things, however, were the most drastically changed about him. The other change was one only two people knew. Hermione was that other person.

At the start of her 7th year at Hogwarts the war had been in full progress. There had been attacks and deaths left, right and centre. As the most advanced student of her year in potions, Hermione had been apprenticed to Snape to help him make healing potions and balms for the injured as well as explosives to use for attacking Death Eaters.

During that time they had forged a bond which steadily grew to something much more. Hermione didn't know what exactly started it all, but was thankful anyway.

People often wondered what had changed him so much. Most people had changed at least a little because of the war, although not all for the better. Popular opinion was that Snape had found something more interesting than taking points from students and frightening first years, but what (or who) could it possibly be?

As Hermione lay back against her love she, reflected that in a few short hours everyone would have their answer.

* * *

Flashback

It was just after dinner had finished in the Great Hall and Hermione was knocking on the door of her boyfriend's quarters. He came to the door and swept her up into his arms. 'This is new.' She thought to herself, but didn't get a chance to say, as she was soon set down onto a couch. She did a double take, and looking around the room again she saw candles decorating the entire room and a new bear skin rug by the fireplace. All in all, it looked extremely romantic.

Hermione wondered what the occasion was. They usually didn't bother with such careful decorating; it never seemed to matter, as long as they had each other to keep them company.

The matter was soon put out of her head as he sat down next to her, pulled her into his lap and proceeded to snog the daylights out of her. When she thought she could stand it no longer he broke away

"Hang on one moment…I have to get something." Severus said quietly in her ear, sending a shiver up her spine.

Severus walked into his bedroom and came back with a small purple velvet box. Hermione's breath caught in her throat. He walked over to the couch and knelt down on one knee beside her. Hermione was sure she was hyperventilating. 'Oh…my…god!' she thought to herself.

"Hermione Jane Granger, I haven't always liked you, or even understood you, but over the last several months I feel I have gotten to know you better than I know myself. First I learnt to respect you, for the work that you are able to do and for your personality, then I learnt to care for you. I remember always being worried that you might not come back from one of your missions, and it wasn't because I would have to find a new apprentice either."

Hermione laughed. No-one would believe that this was Severus Snape proposing to her unless they were actually there. It just wasn't what you would think Severus could be capable of.

"I then learnt to love you, and that was the most important lesson of all. Whenever you're not with me, I find myself imagining the next time I will be able to hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you and have you say the same to me. Will you marry me?"

Hermione could contain herself no longer. She burst into a giggling fit and started rolling around on the couch she was sitting on. "What?" Severus asked her, confused.

"I…I." she couldn't seem to say anything more through her laughing so Severus decided to kiss her until she stopped. When she pushed him away she had one last giggle before saying "Hell, yes! How can I refuse after such an inventive proposal?"

This time it was Severus's turn to laugh as he slid the ring onto her finger. "You do know that we have to tell everyone now, don't you?" Severus asked her.

"I hadn't really thought about it." She answered honestly "I'm a bit worried about what the Gryffindor's are going to say, although it shouldn't be too bad because you have changed a lot. They have all admitted it too. I'll just have to do it carefully." Hermione replied slowly.

End flashback

* * *

"What do you mean, he proposed to you?" Harry screeched.

"That greasy git? And you actually said yes? I can't believe you have been seeing him in the first place, but you might have told your best friends at least!" Ron yelled.

"I love that 'greasy git' as you put it. I've been working with him since the start of the year and I have really gotten to know him. And you've seen how much he has changed. Most of that is because I make him happy. Just like he makes me happy. I thought you two would understand that, after all you are my best friends. I guess I shouldn't have thought so much of either of you." Hermione stood up and stalked out of the portrait hole, heading towards the dungeons.

At least there was one person who cared about her.

* * *

Hermione was just about to knock on Severus's door when Ginny Weasley came around the corner. She looked up in shock at seeing Hermione there and blushed.

"What are you doing down in the dungeons at this time of night?" Hermione asked.

"Um…well, I'll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone, especially Ron." Ginny said panicking slightly.

"I promise." Hermione replied.

"I…I was meeting with my boyfriend, Andrew Parkinson. I haven't told anyone because I know what they would all say. They would think that he's taking advantage of me or something, just because he's a Slytherin. You don't think that, do you?" Ginny asked desperately.

"No I don't think that at all. I know for a fact that Slytherins can be really great people to be around." Hermione said with a small smile.

"You're not seeing a Slytherin, are you?" she asked.

"Um…yes. Severus proposed to me today." It was Hermione's turn to blush now.

"Severus?" she asked in disbelief "You don't mean Severus Snape?"

"Yes and when I told Harry and Ron they thought I was insane or something. They didn't understand that I love him and…and they hate me!" she sobbed, sliding down the door. She was crumpled on the floor crying when Severus opened his door to see what the source of the noise was.

He gasped when he saw that the person who was crying so loudly was his new fiancé. "What happened?" he asked her, picking her up and not noticing Ginny was there until she cleared her throat quite loudly.

"Miss Weasley, what are you doing here?" he asked her.

"Hermione was just telling me about how Harry and Ron reacted when she told them about you proposing, sir. They didn't take it very well and she just started crying."

"You had better come in too then." Severus said, holding the door open for her.

When Ginny walked in she noticed that there were candles all around the room, most likely from when Snape had proposed to Hermione.

Once Severus had calmed Hermione down a little they both began to tell Ginny about how they had gotten together. Hermione took great delight in telling Ginny about the proposal.

"You know, I have the perfect way to get back at Harry and my dear brother…" Ginny whispered conspiringly.

* * *

An hour later Hermione found herself outside Gryffindor Tower, hidden by the invisibility cloak that Ginny had somehow managed to borrow of Harry. Her plan was to wait until Harry left the common room and follow him. It wasn't the best plan, but it would do.

She had only been waiting about 10 minutes when he came out of the Portrait hole, looking around himself. Hermione silently thanked Ginny for having the foresight to also borrow the Marauders Map. It would make it a lot easier to find out who Harry was meeting if he closed a door on her or she lost sight of him.

She followed him for a few minutes and then realised where he was headed. He was leading her towards the Transfiguration classroom.

He stopped short of the classroom and Hermione only just managed to stop in time to avoid colliding with him. He knocked on part of the wall and it opened up as a door. Hermione just managed to look around Harry and see a woman about 20 years old, with Ebony hair flowing around her shoulders.

It took Hermione a few seconds to realise that it was Professor McGonagall, as she still wasn't completely used to seeing her de-aged. She supposed she should be by now, as it had been in the final battle when she had been hit with a curse that permanently took her age back until she was the same physically as she was when she was 21.

Hermione hoped that Harry wasn't here for what she thought he was, although it made sense because Professor McGonagall always had her hair up in a tight bun and she had it out now. If she was meeting a student for something to do with school work she would still have her hair up and it defiantly wouldn't be this close to curfew.

McGonagall ushered Harry into the room, looking around to make sure that no body was there to see what was happening. They both knew that if anybody found out Minerva could lose her job or worse, Harry could be expelled.

Harry closed the door behind him leaving Hermione out in the corridor. Hermione waited a minute or so and then quietly snuck into the room. She had to control herself so that she wouldn't scream and hex Harry into oblivion. Harry was snogging Professor McGonagall!

Hermione ran out of the room and into an empty classroom down the hall. She let out a high pitched screech, out of disgust or glee, she didn't know. She was disgusted that Harry was snogging Professor McGonagall, although she really couldn't say anything because she was also seeing a teacher. Make that engaged to a teacher. She was also extremely happy that she now had something that she could use against Harry for revenge.

Hermione was sure that Severus would help her come up with something to do to get back at them, as he and McGonagall had always been in competition with each other for the house cup and quidditch. Severus would defiantly like to help her in her revenge.

Hermione quickly walked down to Severus's quarters to tell him of her new discovery.

"I don't know if I should be cringing or celebrating." Severus admitted to her "The idea of them together is just wrong, although Albus couldn't possibly say anything to me about seeing a student when Minerva is seeing Harry Potter. I doubt that he would want to fire both of us, or expel two of his favourite students."

"That's true. I should be going now though…Ron and Harry (if he's back yet) will probably try to keep and eye on me now. They might even try to tell Dumbledore that we're together. I just had a really bad thought…what if Harry told McGonagall. Dumbledore would probably believe her without hearing our side of the story." Hermione said worriedly.

"It will be alright I promise sweetheart" Severus wrapped her in his arms. Hermione kissed him goodbye.

"Goodnight love." Severus said as she walked out the door.

As it was past curfew Hermione slipped on the invisibility cloak. She was walking down the corridor when she heard noises coming from one of the empty classrooms. She headed inside and almost threw up at the site. Ronald Weasley, her best friend Ronald Weasley, was snogging Draco Malfoy, of all people. Ron was the one who had thought she was gross by dating Severus.

She scoffed to herself. At least now she had something on Ron, too. So much for telling your friends everything.

Vaguely, she could make out voices coming from the room that she had just run away from. She cautiously made her way back along the corridor.

"Why can't we tell anyone?" That was Malfoy's voice.

"Because I-I just don't want to tell anyone yet…I'm not ready to come out. I haven't even told my friends that I'm gay. I don't want to have to deal with all the teasing and stuff either. I mean, do you want to have everyone saying all that stuff about you?" Ron answered him.

"I want to be able to hold your hand and walk to classes together or go into Hogsmeade like other couples. I'm sick of all of the other Slytherin's trying to set me up, too. I want people to see you and know that you're taken, that they can't have you because your mine. I can't have any of that until we tell everyone."

It sounded like Severus wasn't the only Slytherin to change more than most people seemed to think. Hermione was almost happy for Ron, because it seemed as though Malfoy really cared about him, maybe even loved him. She reminded herself that she was mad at him and that once she had had her payback she could go back to being best friends with him.

* * *

The next morning Hermione met Severus in the dungeons before breakfast. "I have the perfect potion. You'll just have to wait and see just what it does. Hopefully it will get a laugh out of a few people." Severus told her, holding up and small bottle of reddish-pink potion.

"Sounds interesting." Hermione remarked. She kissed him on the neck and moved up to nibble on his ear. "Are you sure you don't want to tell me what it does now?" she whispered in his ear.

He shivered. "No. That trick isn't going to work on me. You'll just have to wait."

"Meanie-bum!" she pouted.

"And proud of it!" he countered.

"By the way, I have some very interesting information to tell you. It's about Ronald and his…well lets say his sexuality." Hermione laughed at the look on her fiancé's face.

"Are trying to tell me that your dear friend Mr Weasley is…how should I say this…gay?" Severus asked raising his eyebrow.

Hermione nodded. "And let me tell you, so is your precious Mr Malfoy." Hermione cracked up at the look of disgust on Severus's face.

"You don't mean to tell me that Mr Malfoy and Mr Weasley are…well…together, so to speak."

Severus looked as if he was about to be sick and Hermione just couldn't resit adding, "Very together, if you get my drift." Severus placed his hand over her mouth to stop her from telling him anything more. He didn't think he could handle it.

"I have the perfect plan to get back at Ron now." Hermione said, sounding quite evil.

"And that might be?" Severus asked. Hermione whispered her plan into his ear and received a thorough snogging from him in return.

"I'm guessing you liked my plan then?" Hermione asked when they broke apart a few minutes later.

"No I just like snogging you." Severus replied with a smirk.

"I can tell." Hermione smirked back, walking away before Severus had a chance to kiss her again.

* * *

When Minerva arrived at breakfast that morning Severus being the gentleman he was, offered her a drink of tea. He had slipped the potion in before she had arrived, so she was none the wiser.

Halfway through breakfast Minerva abruptly stood up almost taking her breakfast with her.

"I have an announcement to make." She yelled out to the whole of the great hall. "I AM IN LOVE!"

The glass Harry had been holding slipped from his hand and smashed onto the floor spilling its contents everywhere. Everybody in the great hall turned to see Harry's panic stricken face. Whispers suddenly engulfed the hall and Hermione and Severus shared a smirk.

Minerva stepped down from the table and made her way over to the Gryffindor table. All eyes were following her, waiting to see who it was that had captured their dear old-but-not-so-old professor's heart.

Minerva stopped in front of Harry, who still looked panicked. She leaned her head down and kissed him passionately on his lips, winding her hands around his neck as his arms automatically wrapped around her waist.

"You can tell they've done this before." Seamus said to Dean who was sitting beside Harry.

Harry pulled away slightly, and then caught sight of all the students watching them. He realised that he and Minerva had just been snogging in the middle of the Great Hall. Harry pulled away from her and bolted out of the Hall.

Hermione and Severus shared another look and burst out laughing, although no one seemed to realise as McGonagall ran out the hall after Harry "Harry, love, come back here! HARRY!" she was yelling, although with concern, not madness.

Outside the hall Minerva caught up with Harry and grabbed him by the shoulder. He turned around to face her and said "What did you do that for? I thought we weren't going to tell anyone until after I graduated." He no longer looked pale, as he was blushing with embarrassment.

"Harry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me, but I just had an urge to go and tell everyone that I love you. I couldn't help it." Minerva pleaded with him.

"Well, I'm kind of glad that it's out of the way now, but that wasn't quite the way that I meant to do it." Harry told her before pulling her head up slightly and kissing her tenderly on the lips.

Unfortunately, or maybe it was fortunately, for both of them, Minerva hadn't closed the door to the great hall after her, so everyone inside had been watching the whole thing. Now no one had any doubts that they really were a couple.

They both gave the hall one last look and then fled together in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom.

* * *

Hermione finished the letter by signing Ron's name. "Perfect" she said to Pig, who was zooming around her head in excitement. It wasn't often that anyone used him to send a letter, because he tended to be a little insane.

'Thank god for charms to forge handwriting.' She thought to herself.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast when all the post owls came in, everyone's attention was caught by Pig happily zooming in between all the other, more normal, owls.

It took another 2 minutes and several laps of the hall for him to find his target. He swooped down towards the Slytherin table, or more specifically, the self proclaimed Slytherin Prince, Draco Malfoy. Everyone wondered just what Ron Weasley was doing sending an owl to Malfoy of all people.

Draco looked across the hall and noticed that his secret lover wasn't even looking at him, although the back of his neck had gone almost as red as a tomato. Draco wondered just why Ron had chosen to use an owl that everyone was sure to recognise. His question was answered as he tore the parchment open and read the letter.

_Dear Draco,_

_I know how much you want to tell everyone about the two of us and I have decided that it isn't such a bad idea, after all. I want to be able to walk to classes with you and have everyone know that you're taken, too._

_If you're game enough, come over to me and kiss me in front of the rest of the hall. I'll be waiting for you._

_Love Ron._

So Ron finally wanted to tell everyone? Well Draco defiantly wasn't complaining. He had wanted to tell everyone for quite a while now. He wanted to make a statement, and this plan of Ron's would certainly do just that. This was going to be fun!

Draco quickly finished off his toast and orange juice. He then stood up and made his way to the Gryffindor table. He stopped when he was standing directly behind of his lover.

Ron could feel eyes staring at him and he willed Draco to just insult him and go away. He had no idea what he was planning to do, but he knew it would most defiantly embarrass him. He felt Draco tap him on the shoulder and span around to glare at him.

Before Ron had a chance to say anything, Draco clamped their mouths together in a furious snog. Just like yesterday when Harry and McGonagall had been snogging in the middle of the hall, whispers, cheering, clapping and wolf whistles could be heard throughout the entire hall.

"Was that game enough for you?" Draco asked when they broke apart.

"Huh?" Ron asked, not being able to manage more after having been snogged so thoroughly

"The letter you just sent me." Draco elaborated. "You know, where you said that you had decided that you wanted to tell everyone that we were seeing each other."

"Um, I don't remember sending you a letter saying that. I thought we were going to wait until after school finishes before telling anyone."

Hermione heard this and had to stuff her fist into her mouth to contain her giggling. Ginny didn't bother with pretending not to laugh. She was already rolling around under the table.

* * *

"Hermione!" Harry called running down a corridor, trying to catch up with her. "Hermione, wait up!"

Hermione stopped near then end of the corridor and waited for him to catch up. "Yes?" she hissed.

Harry sighed. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said about Snape. It was really insensitive and hypocritical of me. And…well, I know what you mean about loving someone and not worrying about how everyone else sees them. I just want you to be happy." Harry said honestly.

Hermione was slightly shocked, although pleased. "Thanks, Harry. It means a lot to me that you accept Severus and I. I didn't want to have to choose between my love and my friends. I know you wouldn't have liked my decision if I had had to make one."

Harry smiled and looked awkwardly at her for a moment. Seeming to have made his decision, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight jug. "I really am sorry. I'll try to be nicer to him, for your sake, but I can't promise that we'll become friends or anything like that."

"That's ok, Harry. I didn't expect miracles." Hermione said, laughing.

* * *

"Remind me never to get on your bad side." Severus said to Hermione later that day when they were playing a game of chess in his rooms. "That revenge was perfect. I can't believe that you actually did something like that to Weasley."

"I had to. He was being unfair and I think its time they came out anyway. He wont be able to say anything to me about you now either." Hermione said fairly.

"I suppose that's true. It certainly did entertain the rest of the school, anyway." Severus admitted, chuckling slightly.

"I think I can find something much more entertaining than that." Hermione suggestively whispered in his ear.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Severus whispered back.

* * *

"Come on!" Ron said, trying to pull Draco into the Gryffindor common room. "Please come in with me?"

"I'm not allowed in your common room, though. If someone catches me…"Draco tried to reason, but trailed off when he realised Ron wasn't going to listen anyway. "Fine, fine." He huffed.

"Good!" Ron said as he pulled Draco in behind him. There was a sudden burst of noise when the portrait hole opened, then is suddenly went quiet as people saw just who was at the door.

"Um…well, I think I'll just be going." Draco said, trying to back out of the room. It didn't work, as Ron grabbed hold of his arm.

"Oh no you don't." Ron said as he dragged him over to an empty chair by the fireplace. Ron sat down in the chair and pulled Draco down on top of his lap. Draco could feel a blush rising in his cheeks.

Harry, who was sitting opposite them, raised his eyebrows slightly but didn't comment. He went back to writing his Charms essay. The rest of the room seemed to realise that noting interesting was going to happen, as they went back to their homework and games.

After about five minutes Harry looked up from his homework again. "Ron, you do realise that you need to apologise to Hermione. You can't really have any objections to her relationship now that the whole school knows about yours." Harry said, looking pointedly at Draco, who was now comfortably leaning back against Ron, seemingly without a care in the world.

"I suppose you're right. I was a bit of a git. I just wish she had told us before she got engaged to him." Ron sighed.

"Granger's engaged?" Draco asked.

"Just like we both told her about our relationships?" Harry asked with a sly smile at Ron, not hearing Draco at all.

"Um…well, about that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't know how you would react to it."

"Who's Granger engaged to?" Draco asked again.

"That's alright, I didn't tell you about my relationship either. Anyway, I found Hermione earlier and apologised to her. You should do it soon, while she's in a good mood. She was just about to go down to his room."

"Who's room?" Draco asked, getting slightly annoyed.

"That just too much information, Harry." Ron said, screwing up his nose slightly.

"Fucking hell!" Draco said, standing up in frustration. "Who the bloody hell is Granger engaged to?" he practically yelled at the whole common room.

Just then, Hermione walked into the common room with a grin on her face. The whole common room faced her, waiting for an answer.

"Um…well, that's an interesting question." Hermione said with a nervous look on her face. "Oh, look at the time," she said, looking at her wrist, no noticing that her watch was on the other arm. "I have some honeymoon – I mean, wedding, um, stuff to do. I don't want to get detention – I mean, be late. Bye!" Hermione turned around fast and tried to pull the portrait open, forgetting that you were supposed to pus it outwards. After a few minutes of fumbling she managed to open it and tumbled out the hole.

Everyone stared in shock at the place she had been only a few seconds before, until Harry broke the silence by sniggering behind his hand and trying to cover it up by coughing. The rest of the common room burst out laughing as though the hadn't been a silence at all.

"Um, I think I should go after her and apologise to her now. Before she gets there preferably." And with that Ron followed Hermione out of the room at a run.

Draco, the only person that hadn't been laughing, huffed and slumped down into the seat that Ron had just vacated. "I still didn't get my question answered." He muttered to himself. The only reason he hadn't been laughing was because he was sulking, and you just didn't laugh when you were sulking. Any other time though…

"What's with you?" Harry asked him, finally noticing his odd behaviour.

"I just wanted a simple question answered. Is it really too much to ask for?"

"With Gryffindor's?" Harry asked with a snort "Yes." Then Harry stood up and went up to his dorm, leaving Draco to his misery alone.

"Damn. Why did I have to fall for a Gryffindor?"

After another five minutes of pouting Draco realised that his question still hadn't been answered. A certain someone wasn't going to be getting a certain something for a long time. Or at least for as long as Draco could go without it.

* * *

"Hermione! Hermione, wait!" Ron yelled as he ran to catch up with her.

Finally she stopped and Ron drew even with her. Even though she tried to hide her face from him, he could tell that she had been crying. Ron put a hand on her shoulder. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so rude and if you really love him and want to marry him, he must be all right. I should have trusted you to be able to make decisions for yourself."

Hermione looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "So you will help me tell my parents about him?" she asked, giving him puppy dog eyes.

"Well, I suppose I could help you, as long as you help me tell my parents about Draco." Ron said with a slight wince. "It isn't going to be easy, I mean, our parents, our families, have hated each other for that many years."

"Sounds like fun." Hermione laughed.

* * *

**AN: This story was written for a plot bunny challenge with Professor M.**

**Hermione has been secretly seeing Severus. She wants to tell Harry and Ron because Severus has just proposed. When she tells them they refuse to speak to her and they try to hex Severus. Hermione finds out something interesting though. Harry is involved with Minerva McGonagall and Ron is involved with Draco Malfoy. How does this change things? What does Hermione do when she finds out? How does she use this against them and get them to speak to her again?**


End file.
